The Wilderness

“Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred…Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.”  (Matthew 4:1-2; 11)

I was apart from the fellowship with God for better than twenty years, due to the false message that all gays go to hell. This was a bold faced lie from the enemy himself.  It kept me from having a proper relationship with God, which was a bad thing.  I was in my own spiritual wilderness, wandering.  But in that time, I was apart from the church and its religiousness.  I did not become a Bible thumper or a hypocrite, which was a good thing.  For this I am grateful.

The stroke and being helpless taught me a LOT about humility and how arrogant I was.  I thought I knew everything.  With my memory erased, I didn’t know anything at all, literally.  For this I am grateful too.

I had no idea that I could minister to someone who is dealing with SSA (Same Sex Attraction) until after the stroke.  I thought it to be an embarrassment for a long time, something to be hidden.  Now I can talk about it and my experiences.  Hopefully it will lead someone to Christ.  I am in no way comparing myself to Christ; He lead a sinless life; me not so much.  But being apart from the church and then the stroke better prepared me to serve God, to lead others to Him without being pompous, or a religious fanatic.

For this I am forever in His debt.


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