A new name

At the age of twelve, I was given a new name.  I was called ‘faggot’ by the boys in junior high.  I didn’t even have an idea what that meant, so I asked my grandmother.  She flew into a rage and washed my mouth out with soap.  She normally reserved this ritual for other bad words like the F-bomb, so I knew it must have been bad.

I lived with this name for more than thirty years, even after I was saved.  After my salvation, my walk with Christ was cut short.  I lost my way for a long time.  Most days I would look at myself in the mirror and utter the word ‘faggot’.  I viewed myself with utter contempt and hated who I was.   I thought of myself as ‘God’s pet faggot’.

Then God came for me, to put me back on the right path.  In November 2015, I heard a new name: ‘Child of God’; that this name had been given to me.  I had been adopted into His Family and that I was His.  I got angry and wept, for what the enemy had stolen from me.   He took from me my sense of self-worth, my place as an inheritor of God’s kingdom.

Even now when I look in the mirror, the enemey reminds me of my past and utters the word ‘faggot’.  I have to remind him that I have been given a new name, ‘Child of God’, and I don’t have to play by his rules anymore.

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