Four months

My mother was a drug addict.  My father was an alcoholic.  I assumed that if I just avoided these things, substance abuse, that I could not addicted.  I was wrong.

What I inherited from my parents was an addictive personality.  I could become addicted to anything, salt, sugar, video games; you name it.  I was addicted to all these things, but I was most especaially addicted to porn.  I am a porn addict.  I have been clean for four months now.

It was so easy to fall into.  I saw it as a resonable substitute for gay sex after I went celibate.  Not knowing of my addictive personality I became hooked right away.  I started fighting my addiction in February 2016, with only two relapses (the last one was the worst).  Yes, I prayed to God, and I was largely successful.  Still though I kept falling back into it.  I had to learn how to combat it more effectively.

The first thing was to admit I even had a problem, and that I needed help.  That was a big step for me.  I started going to Celebrate Recovery meetings for my addiction.  I found people there from all walks of life, with all kinds addictions (not just drugs or alcohol).  It is a Christ centered organization where we all boost and encourage each other.

The 18th of March marked my fourth month since my last relapse into porn.  It was difficult for me psychologically speaking.  I was so sure I would fail, but I had a number of people praying for me and supporting me.  I didn’t fail.

God revealed to me that the relapses occur every four months or so, due to stress.  With this knowledge, I was able to get past this fourth month.  Now on to the fifth month.4 months

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Four months

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s