I changed my underwear

In Mid-August of 2016 I was getting dressed in the bathroom when I caught sight of myself. The normal self-loathing I felt was different.  I was still wearing the same kind of boxerbriefs that my exboyfriend had worn.  I was moving into my twelfth year of celibacy from the gay lifestyle and I was still dressing like Jason.

I took them off and went commando that day, hating the fact that I was still holding on to him. He told me that I was only good for sex.   He never asked me to change what I wore.  I’m not even sure if he even noticed when I went from the same old Fruit of the Loom briefs to boxerbriefs.  I guess I was just trying to make him happy, but all he wanted was his own satisfaction.

I worked all that day without underwear. It was uncomfortable as I had always worn them.  After work and the kids were fed, I went to Walmart and started looking for new underwear.  I didn’t want to go back to the old ‘tidie whities’ and I certainly didn’t want to wear the kind of boxerbriefs that Jason wore.

I settled on some fairly plain briefs that were colored. Now when I look in the mirror, and while the self-loathing is still there (I HATE being SSA), at least I don’t see myself enslaved to Jason.

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