About to get real gross here, SO BE WARNED!!! There is information that is TMI for straight people, and this is primarily for those who are gay.
I remember the first time I ever realized I had an attraction to males. It was very embarrassing. It was about two months before my twelfth birthday. I was at a Boy Scout summer camp, and our scout master insisted we all take showers. I was kind of nervous, as it would be the first time I would be naked in front of other boys. I removed my clothing and went in to the shower area. There before me was everyone I knew, naked. I got an instant erection. I couldn’t let anyone see me like this, so I took the shower nearest to the door and kept myself turned away. No one saw (thank God). I set a speed record for bathing and rushed out of there, with shampoo still in my hair.
But happened? Why was I getting a hard on for men? A couple of months later, a similar thing happened on my first day of gym class at junior high. What was going on?
This is a very difficult topic because it involves the biology of gay sex.
It turns out that I had SSA. But what is SSA? SSA means Same Sex Attraction. It is opposed to being gay, where you are driven by lust. An SSA person is predisposed to finding the same sex appealing, seeking pleasure in finding the admiration of a person’s form. The propaganda of the LGBT community will have you believe that if one like myself looks at a guy, then that means you want to have sex with them. This is how I wound up having sex with Jason, which was very painful. Still I ejaculated, so I assumed I liked it and willingly submitted myself to that pain just to get the feeling of the first time I had sex. It never happened again.
I didn’t understand what was happening biologically. I don’t know what happens to females, so I won’t speak of them. All men have prostates. According to Web MD “The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis. The prostate is just in front of the rectum. The urethra runs through the center of the prostate, from the bladder to the penis, letting urine flow out of the body. The prostate secretes fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes this fluid into the urethra, and it’s expelled with sperm as semen. The vasa deferentia (singular: vas deferens) bring sperm from the testes to the seminal vesicles. The seminal vesicles contribute fluid to semen during ejaculation.” (http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/picture-of-the-prostate) It is very sensitive when stimulated, and can only be done so through the act of anal sex. When it is stimulated, it causes the ejaculation. This is what happened to me.
It was because I believed the propaganda of the LGBT community, that because I was SSA, that I had to live the gay life. I found sex with a man painful each and every time it happened. Still, it was what I was supposed to do. Who knew? I’m still living with the ramifications of what I did, putting myself at incredible risk for disease and physical injury, not to mention the humiliation.
Gay sex is very humiliating. You are naked. If you are on the receiving end, then you are likely on your hands and knees. The guy at your backside is pushing his erect penis inside you and it hurts terribly bad, but you want it no matter its length or girth, all because you feel an attraction to men. The man behind you may tell he loves you, and he may, but in the end he is only trying to stimulate his own penis. Because of the friction involved with gay sex, the prostate is stimulated and you ejaculate, mistakenly thinking that since it happened you like it, and as a result you are willing to endure all this just to get the pleasure again (and it is intense).
Just because I am SSA doesn’t mean I need to follow the propaganda of the LGBT community and have gay sex. Just because I admire the curvature of the male form and every single facet of the male anatomy doesn’t mean I need to have sex with them.
What about masturbation then?
Again, this is a very difficult subject, as most people do not want to discuss it. I don’t even want to, but one of my Detractors (see the comments of this link) falsely accused me of claiming I was ex-gay for not discussing it. Almost all men masturbate. I do. I think is a natural function of males that was given to us by God, so we don’t engage in fornication (in my case, with men). It is icky to talk about, but it keeps me celibate, which for spiritual matters, I don’t want to engage in sex with men. I won’t talk about this subject here, as this is already an icky topic :), but I will discuss it in another post. READERS BE WARNED!
I’m SSA, same sex attracted. Just because I look at a guy’s butt, does not mean I am lusting after him, nor does it mean I love God less. Far from it. Detractor or Angry Activist might argue differently, but it is all just semantics. I have been delivered from what somebody thinks I should be. I am God’s child. Perhaps if I had known about SSA, I wouldn’t have gone into the gay lifestyle.