I really hate it when some religious kook tries to tell why I’m SSA (gay). Moreover they try to tell me how to be rid of it. I started showing signs of homosexuality when I was ten, even though I didn’t fully understand it or what was happening. By twelve, I was actively looking at other guys, though in secret, lest I be found out (the locker room in gym class was a bitch). By this reckoning, as of this year (2017) I will have been SSA for 35 years (more or less).
Some people try to tell me it was demonically influenced. If I had already started looking at twelve and experimenting at fourteen, exactly when did I get the “homosexuality demon” inside me? I never messed with a ouija board or Tarot cards, or anything like that. I played some Dungeons & Dragons when I was fifteen, but that was the extent of my dabbling in the occult.
To assume a “homosexuality demon” entered me when I was young, and caused me to be gay is essentially saying “the devil made me do it”. I would have been an innocent pawn, malevolently controlled like a marionette into a life of decadence. This is all garbage. I did the things I did by choice. No demonic apparition influenced me. At best, one (may) have spoken lies to me when I heard the false sermon that all gays go to hell. Still, it was I and I alone who made the decision to go into the gay lifestyle.
Similarly, another person on Matt Moore’s site (http://www.moorematt.org/) made the ridiculous suggestion that a demon had entered me each time that I was with a guy and that “all soul ties created with each sexual partner need to be confessed and renounced and then spiritually broken”. A “soul tie”? Doesn’t that mean I have to remember each and every single guy I was with and renounce them in order be “cured” of homosexuality? This is legalism at its best.
I had a stroke four years ago (2012). I am blessed to have gotten back the memories I have. Even when I was at full health, I couldn’t remember all of the guys I was with (I estimate about forty). Some people are in worse off shape than I am if that’s the case (I have a friend who was with about 400 guys).
Jesus Christ paid the price for ALL our sins. It is a pardon that is freely given to all those who ask! There is no ritual: no cleansing, no casting out demonic spirits, no public confessions to a priest in a box. None of any of this religious nonsense. Also, a person can’t be expected to change overnight. Just because a recovering alcoholic goes on a binge, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love the Lord less. It means he made a mistake. So too is one who is recovering from a homosexual lifestyle. I am still attracted to guys. In this life I will be; it is a part of my biological makeup. It doesn’t mean I love God less.
It does mean I pray to God for strength, to resist going back into that life.