The mother-in-law

Has anyone ever seen the movie it’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World?  It’s one of my favorites.  My favorite character, the one I love to hate, is the screeching mother-in-law, played wonderfully by Ethel Merman (she should have gotten the Oscar).  All through the movie, she nags people constantly (everyone), always sticking her nose into other people’s business, berating them if they don’t comply with her wishes, and heaping on so much verbal abuse.  At the end, she slipped on a banana peel in the prison infirmary and had to be taken away on a stretcher, bringing laughter to all those that she abused throughout the movie.

This was very much like an experience I had recently on a website for those who are same- sex attracted and try to remain faithful to the Lord ( .  I will not use her real name and so I will refer to her as the “Angry Activist”.  I made a comment on accountability, my recent experience in church and that it was right that someone had held me accountable.

Uninvited, she asserted that the church had no right to hold me accountable and this was due to prejudice of the church and oppression. She also revealed how she is a black woman and not gay, but can empathize with me, because she was oppressed.  I made the mistake of responding to her diatribe, and for that I became really sorry.  She was really angry; that I had “betrayed” the LGBT community; much upset that I wouldn’t seek their representation; that I would dare to counsel youth who about being same sex attracted; and how dare I proselytize (which I didn’t).

I tried sharing my story on this site. I tried explaining that I wasn’t a victim.  I tried explaining that by not being gay, she could never hope to represent me.  I tried humor (actually I thought the comments about her needing Xanax were hilarious).  I tried outreach.  She would have none of this and took great exception to it.

Honestly, I hope Angry Activist finds peace in her life, as I found it in mine. I wish her well.  She really needs Xanax though.


12 thoughts on “The mother-in-law

    1. I will always be gay, but I am no longer practicing. I have been celibate to what I want for twelve years now. This is my choice, not due to pressure of the church. Read the whole blog, to understand who I am, and what happened to me in my life, and why I feel the way I feel.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do plan on reading more. I find it inspiring that you are so confident. Please don’t take offense, but the church generally shows nothing but hate towards gay people. Which rightfully causes them to leave. I can imagine (without having read your blog yet), that you have experienced this hate in some form. As a church, we are called to love. Period. I will keep reading your posts, and I would like to share some!

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for pointing out that something good came from “Angry Activist’s” involvement on Matt’s website. This person is an internet troll, and several people have pointed out that every troll is a real person with a real story and real emotions. I hope that “Angry Activist’s” heart is not too hardened against God and that the truth finds its way into “Angry Activist’s” life.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It was through that argument with angry activist that i found about you tvmasterc, finally i found someone i can relate to, dealing with SSA and loving God, i’m reading all of your posts i am not done yet, but i can’t help to think about how God works, it was precisely because of that argument with the activist that i found you, so something great came for me, as i have learned from your posts, Thank you for sharing your life with us, much love to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Cesar! The Father works in ways that we don’t understand. Oddly enough, my encounter with Angry Activst that I mentioned here has gotten the most responses. I have met several people (both gay and straight) because of it. I certainly didn’t expect any of it, as I was just venting. Those who I have encountered are curious on how I can remain celibate for so long, how I can maintain my faith in God, despite the trials I have been through. All i can say is ‘He is!’ Angry Activst has no idea about what she has done, and is only concerned with her own self righteousness, believing somehow that she can feel good about herself by ‘liberating’ others from the ‘oppresion’ that is religion. But I am not religious, I am faithful. Religion is what man thinks he has to do to get close to God, using ritual and recited prayers. But there is only one way to get close to God, and that is through Jesus Christ: the Father came for me, because I wouldn’t go to him. Angry Activist assumes I am not happy, because I don’t live the gay lifestyle, and if only I would give in to my passions, I would be happy. She doesn’t seem to understand that I did live that life for many years, and never found happiness; I never did, until the stroke. God used it for His purpose, bringing me back to Him, then sending me back out to tell others. I am encouraged that you read my post, that it is not for nothing. If you want to have further dialog I will answer all emails at .


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